Failure

When I set out for Holland 4 weeks ago I intended to write at least 1,000 words per day of my new novel, but really wanted to write the novel in 30 days. However, I only have 16,500 words and the novel is nowhere near finished its first draft. So did I fail and am I a failure? Certainly not.

Setting targets gives me something to focus on, creating deadlines provides me with a timescale in which to achieve them, but they are all set by me. If I don't make them I'm not losing or missing out. It's not that I don't work hard, am lazy or less creative, it simply means that I'm either problem-solving or life has intervened. In this case both are true; I'm letting my ideas percolate, catching up on things that have accumulated during my absence and decorating a bedroom for a friend who is coming to stay for a while.

Ralph Waldo Emerson wrote:

 "Finish each day before you begin the next, and interpose a solid wall of sleep between the two"

Often I don't do that. I let the previous day intrude into the present and beat myself up about not achieving my targets, then I can't sleep properly and the cycle continues. This time I'm making a conscious effort to live each day in its entirety and let it go before I fall asleep. It's meant I haven't managed to get back to writing the novel yet, but I'm taking care of what needs to be done today so that tomorrow is a clean slate. I'll be writing again soon, so see you then.